Disagreements are common for married couples, even very happy. But conflicts can be dealt with in different ways, and the way couples deal with disagreements can quite influence their long-term happiness. One of the reasons we have conflicts in marriage is that there are oppositions. As a general rule, a task-oriented person marries someone who is more man-oriented. People who move at breakneck speed seem to end up with spouses who are slower. It`s weird, but it`s part of the reason you got married, who you did. Your spouse has added a variety, seasoning and difference to your life that he or she did not have before. It was as if we came from two different countries, with completely different traditions, traditions, habits and values. The differences appeared very early in our marriage. Take furniture, for example.
Barbara had a book of ettan Allen`s dreams, and she was always looking at it. It was full of things cherry, solid walnut, solid mahogany. It wasn`t for the chairs at $189.95 per leg. Few couples readily admit it, but conflicts are common in all marriages. We had our share of conflict and some of our disagreements were not pretty. You could probably write a book about what you`re not supposed to do! Birditt said that marriages seem to be damaged when one spouse tends to handle conflict constructively and the other withdraws. In their view, the spouse, whose approach is constructive, may view „the partner`s habit of withdrawing rather than as an attempt to cool down.“ As every marriage has its own tensions, it is not a question of avoiding them, but of how to deal with them. Conflicts can lead to a process that develops unity or isolation. You and your spouse must choose how you will act in the event of a conflict.
Fix the problem and not the person. The problem must be considered and dealt with, not the character of the party insulting or offended. Wordsworth said, „Anyone who has a good friend doesn`t need a mirror.“ Happy is the marriage where both spouses feel that the other is a good friend who listens, understands and works on any problem or conflict. To do that, you need a loving confrontation. And I couldn`t imagine that the marriage educator who was aware of the study would not want to challenge couples to improve their communication skills and promote the ability to disagree. It`s human to be angry, but staying angry is not good. Negative emotions arise when we are angry or dissatisfied with our friend. In turn, we blame our partners and blame them when they forget that they are doing what they can best, and we are trapped only in this present and can no longer evaporate. Sometimes I`ve discovered that the right thing to do when there`s a disagreement is in our subconscious, I mean, we know what to do, but as human beings, we always want to either record what others are doing, or just feel the need to satisfy a part of us that says, „You`re more than your friend who doesn`t need you“ and who does that kind of thought.
that we react in a way that we should not do. Maintaining harmony in marriage has been difficult since Adam and Eve. Two people who begin their marriage together and try to follow their own selfish and separate paths can never hope to experience the unity of marriage as God intended. The prophet Isaiah depicts the problem accurately more than 2,500 years ago, describing fundamental human selfishness: „All of us, like sheep, have been wrong, each of us has turned to our own path“ (Isaiah 53:6).